Shauna Niequist on Choosing Presence Over Perfection and Reclaiming Life
In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to get caught up in the hustle—until we realize that the life we’re living doesn’t align with what we truly value. Bestselling author Shauna Niequist joined Heal Squad with Maria Menounos to share how she transitioned from a life of overcommitment and burnout to one of peace, purpose, and presence. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, exhausted, or disconnected from what truly matters, her insights may just be the wake-up call you need.
The Jealousy Compass: A Clue to What You Truly Desire
Many of us experience moments of envy, but Niequist suggests using those feelings as a guide rather than a source of guilt.
“I wasn’t jealous of people who were selling more books or speaking at more events,” she shared. “I was jealous of people who got a full night’s sleep, took naps, or had lightness in their lives. That was a signal—I wanted their life, and it didn’t look anything like mine.”
Instead of dismissing jealousy as a negative emotion, she recommends using it to uncover what we genuinely crave in life. Whether it’s more rest, deeper connections, or a simpler routine, paying attention to these feelings can help us align our lives with our true desires.
When Your Life Doesn’t Match Your Values
Niequist described a turning point in her life when she realized that despite claiming to prioritize her faith, family, and deep connections, her daily routine told a different story.
“If you looked at my schedule, what mattered to me was work, hustling, and errands. I was pushing myself toward some imaginary place where I had finally done enough,” she admitted.
This disconnect is something many can relate to—saying one thing but living another. Recognizing the mismatch between our stated values and daily choices is the first step toward realigning with what truly matters.
The Rat Race and the Power of Slowing Down
Modern culture glorifies busyness, but Niequist warns that an overcommitted life often leads to burnout.
“You’re always bringing your most exhausted self home, and then resenting the fact that the scraps you’re giving to your loved ones aren’t cutting it,” she explained.
She emphasized that slowing down isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity. Women, in particular, feel the pressure to be everything to everyone, but Niequist argues that a life of constant ‘doing’ at the expense of ‘being’ isn’t sustainable.
Who Are You Willing to Disappoint?
One of the most profound shifts in Niequist’s life was accepting that she couldn’t please everyone.
“There’s this myth that if you do everything right, you’ll never disappoint anyone,” she said. “But that’s just a lie. If you say yes to one thing, you’re saying no to something else.”
To navigate this, she created a concentric circle of priorities: at the center were her husband and children, followed by close family and best friends, and then colleagues and acquaintances.
“I realized I was giving my best energy to the outer circles and neglecting the people in the center. That’s my biggest regret from that season of my life.”
If you’re feeling stretched too thin, consider reevaluating who gets your time and energy—and ensure those in your inner circle aren’t left with the scraps.
The Courage to Make a Big Change
Niequist and her family made a bold decision to move from the suburbs to an 825-square-foot apartment in New York City, prioritizing simplicity and creativity over space and possessions.
“My husband kept asking, ‘Is this our year for an adventure?’” she recalled. “I thought I knew what our future looked like, but I had to let go of that certainty.”
Their downsizing wasn’t just about location—it was about intentionally crafting a life that aligned with their values. “We don’t spend a lot of time managing stuff anymore, and it’s been freeing.”
Setting Boundaries Without Guilt
Many people—especially women—struggle with setting boundaries, fearing they’ll disappoint others. Niequist encourages shifting this mindset:
“You have to decide—who are you okay disappointing? Because you will disappoint someone. It should never be your closest loved ones.”
This doesn’t mean shutting everyone else out, but rather allocating time and energy proportionally. “It’s not that you ignore people in the outer circles, but you don’t overextend yourself to the detriment of those at the core.”
The Seasons of Life: It’s Okay to Shift Priorities
One of the most liberating takeaways from the conversation was the idea that life happens in seasons.
“There’s no one right way for each of us forever,” Niequist explained. “What’s right for you in this season may change, and that’s okay.”
Giving ourselves permission to evolve, adjust, and set new boundaries can relieve the pressure of feeling like we have to ‘figure it all out’ permanently.
Final Thoughts
If you’ve been running on empty, sacrificing your well-being for external success, or feeling disconnected from the life you want, Niequist’s message is clear: you have the power to change it. By paying attention to what sparks envy, aligning your values with your choices, and setting clear boundaries, you can reclaim your time, energy, and joy.
For more healing and wellness tips, be sure to subscribe to Heal Squad with Maria Menounos via YouTube or Apple Podcasts.
