Letting Go of Expectations, How to Live Free and Find Success with Devon Franklin
The Hidden Weight of Expectations
Expectations can be a silent killer of joy, motivation, and even success. Whether imposed by society, family, or ourselves, expectations often create unnecessary stress, self-doubt, and disappointment. In a powerful episode of Heal Squad with Maria Menounos, producer, bestselling author, and motivational speaker Devon Franklin breaks down the dangers of living by rigid expectations and how true freedom comes from letting them go.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re falling behind, questioning your purpose, or struggling with career and relationship expectations, this conversation will give you the tools to reframe your mindset and live free.
Why Expectations Hold You Back
One of the key messages Devon Franklin shares is that expectations—especially those dictated by society—can feel like an invisible weight that keeps us from living authentically.
“Most people aren’t living their actual lives—they’re living the lives expected of them,” he explains.
The problem is that expectations often stem from outdated cultural norms, parental pressures, or self-imposed timelines that don’t serve our true selves.
For example, in Hollywood, many aspiring actors, writers, and producers believe success must come within a certain timeframe. If they don’t achieve their goals by that deadline, they start to question their worth and talent, which can lead to self-doubt, self-sabotage, and even giving up too soon.
Devon experienced this firsthand. Despite working for years in Hollywood on blockbuster films like The Karate Kid and Heaven is for Real, he expected that his success would automatically lead to promotions and new opportunities. When that didn’t happen, he began doubting himself—until he realized he had been living by an unset expectation rather than focusing on what was truly within his control.
What You Can Control vs. What You Can’t
A crucial step toward freedom is recognizing what is actually within your control. Devon explains:
✅ In Your Control:
- Your attitude and preparation
- How you show up every day
- The quality of work you produce
- Your personal growth and mindset
🚫 Out of Your Control:
- When success happens
- How others perceive you
- Whether people acknowledge your hard work
- The expectations society places on you
“We don’t control the result—we control the process,” Devon says. Instead of stressing over an outcome, focus on showing up fully and doing the work. The rest will fall into place when the timing is right.
How Unrealistic Expectations Damage Relationships
Expectations don’t just impact careers—they affect relationships too.
One of the biggest relationship pitfalls is expecting your partner to automatically know what you need without communicating it. Many people assume that if their partner truly loved them, they would instinctively meet their unspoken expectations.
Devon challenges this mindset:
“A healthy expectation in a relationship is: Whatever my needs are, I will be in touch with them, I will communicate them, and I will give my partner the opportunity to say yes or no.”
This removes resentment and allows both partners to feel free rather than trapped by assumptions.
Similarly, parental expectations can weigh heavily on young adults. Many people struggle between pursuing their true passion and fulfilling their parents’ vision of success. Devon urges people to ask themselves:
“Whose life am I living? If I please my parents but disappoint myself, can I live with that?”
The key is finding a balance—acknowledging your loved ones’ concerns while staying true to what feels right for you.
Expectation Without Participation = Devastation
A particularly powerful lesson from Devon’s book Live Free is this:
Expectation without participation equals devastation.
Many people set big goals but don’t put in the work required to achieve them. They expect success, happiness, and recognition without actively participating in the process.
Whether it’s someone waiting for the perfect job to land in their lap or expecting social media fame without consistently creating content, Devon emphasizes that effort must match ambition.
“Faith without works is dead,” he reminds us. You can have high expectations, but without action, they remain fantasies.
The Process Is the Result
One of the biggest mindset shifts Devon offers is realizing that the process itself is the reward—not just the end goal.
“We put the destination in Waze or Uber, and then we drive,” he says. “We trust that we’ll get there. So why can’t we do the same with our dreams?”
Instead of fixating on when success will come, trust that as long as you keep going, you’re on the right path.
By shifting from “When will I make it?” to “I am already making it”, you remove unnecessary pressure and start enjoying the journey.
Social Media: The Trap of Comparison and False Expectations
One of the biggest culprits of unrealistic expectations today? Social media.
Devon explains how constantly comparing ourselves to curated highlight reels online leads to “compare and despair” syndrome.
“Social media makes people think success should come instantly. But life isn’t a vending machine where you put in an expectation and get the result right away.”
Instead of measuring your worth by likes, followers, or someone else’s timeline, Devon encourages people to focus on what truly matters: real-life achievements, personal growth, and long-term fulfillment.
Breaking Free: How to Cultivate Faith and Restore Hope
If expectations have been weighing you down, the good news is—you can release them.
Devon suggests cultivating faith by closing your eyes and imagining your dream life.
“Let the trailer for your life play on the screen of your mind. See the people you want to meet, the experiences you want to have. Then open your eyes and move in the direction of that vision.”
This simple shift can help restore hope and keep you motivated, even when things feel uncertain.
Final Takeaway: Let Go to Live Free
If you find yourself constantly disappointed, frustrated, or anxious about your future, it might be time to reevaluate your expectations.
- Ask yourself: Am I trying to control something out of my control?
- Shift your mindset from demanding results to trusting the process.
- Communicate clearly in relationships instead of assuming.
- Recognize that comparison is the thief of joy—focus on your own path.
- Release expectations that don’t serve you and embrace the freedom of living in the moment.
As Devon says, “The more you let go, the freer you become.”
For more healing and wellness tips, be sure to subscribe to the Heal Squad with Maria Menounos podcast via YouTube or Apple Podcasts.
