Audrina Patridge on Boundaries, Toxic Relationships, and Reclaiming Power
Reality television is a double-edged sword. For The Hills alum Audrina Patridge, it was an exciting, career-launching experience but also an emotional battlefield. In her new book, Choices: To the Hills and Back Again, Patridge pulls back the curtain on the reality of reality TV, toxic relationships, and the journey to reclaiming her power. In a conversation on Heal Squad with Maria Menounos, she opened up about the lessons she’s learned, the boundaries she’s had to set, and why she hopes her story will inspire others to do the same.
Navigating the Reality TV Spotlight
At just 18, Patridge was thrust into the world of reality TV, a time she now looks back on with nostalgia—and a critical eye. “It was such a different time in Hollywood,” she reflected. “We didn’t have social media. There was a level of innocence to it, but also a lot of behind-the-scenes pressure that people never saw.”
One of the biggest challenges for Patridge was maintaining the facade of the “cool, calm, and collected” girl she was portrayed as, even when her personal life was unraveling. “I had this created facade, especially on the show. But in my real life, there were things going on that were so emotional and so hard that I couldn’t really talk about because it wouldn’t make sense in the storyline.”
The Pressure to Conform
Beyond the manufactured drama, there was a more insidious pressure—the pressure to be what producers wanted her to be. She recalled moments when she was encouraged to act in ways that didn’t align with her true self. “I was constantly being pressured to do things I didn’t want to do,” she admitted. From being asked to take her top off for a scene with Justin Bobby to being pushed into a manufactured romance, Patridge learned the hard way that saying no wasn’t always an option—until she made it one.
One of her biggest challenges was resisting the industry’s attempt to sexualize her. “I was pushed to do Playboy. My agents were all about it. They said it would make me the next Carmen Electra, but that wasn’t who I wanted to be. I kept saying no, and it took a long time for them to finally listen.”
Breaking the Cycle of Toxic Relationships
As Patridge recounts in her book, her struggles extended beyond the reality TV set. She found herself in toxic relationships, repeating painful patterns she couldn’t initially recognize. “I started losing myself in these relationships,” she admitted. “I kept thinking, ‘If I just accept this, if I just let this go, things will get better.’ But it never did.”
She realized she had to break the cycle. Therapy became a game-changer for her. “I had to stop confiding in friends who were going through the same struggles. I needed an outside perspective, someone who wasn’t going to just tell me what I wanted to hear.”
The Power of Boundaries
Boundaries were another major lesson. “I was a people pleaser,” Patridge said. “I never wanted to rock the boat. But I had to learn to say no and actually mean it.”
She shared a defining moment from her time filming The Hills: New Beginnings. “The producers kept pushing me to do things I didn’t want to do. They wouldn’t stop texting and calling, trying to get me to cave. Eventually, I just shut my phone off. I realized that my no was enough.”
Setting boundaries wasn’t just about work—it extended to her relationships, too. “I had to learn to say, ‘This isn’t okay. I don’t deserve this.’ And I had to stick to it, no matter how hard it was.”
Motherhood: A New North Star
Becoming a mother to her daughter, Kirra, changed everything. “She is my priority,” Patridge said. “I want her to look up to me and see a strong woman who stands her ground. I don’t want her to make the same mistakes I did.”
Motherhood gave her a renewed sense of purpose and the strength to finally walk away from situations that no longer served her. “I want her to know she doesn’t have to accept less than she deserves.”
Looking Back and Moving Forward
Rewatching The Hills for her new podcast has been a surreal experience for Patridge. “It’s so cringy,” she laughed. “I see my younger self, and I just want to shake her. But at the same time, I see my growth.”
While The Hills may have been her stepping stone, Patridge is now focused on new projects, including her swimwear line, her book, and embracing life on her own terms. “For the first time, I have peace. And I want to keep it that way.”
Final Thoughts
Patridge hopes her story will help others who may be struggling with similar challenges. “I want women to know they’re not alone. That it’s okay to walk away, to say no, to reclaim their power.”
Her book, Choices: To the Hills and Back Again, is a testament to that journey—one of self-discovery, growth, and finally choosing herself.
To hear more from Audrina Patridge, check out her full interview on Heal Squad with Maria Menounos on Youtube and Apple podcasts and grab a copy of Choices wherever books are sold.
